Thursday, March 14, 2013

Mother of the Year

I am not.  I've never been nominated.

Please believe my eyes are wide open to my flaws.
Please do not look to my children to be perfect examples of some of these topics.

My kids were made from the same stuff and long before they were even 6 months old we could see the difference in their personalities.  Each of them speaks a different love language and has different needs for success.  On top of that, they have totally different definitions of success.

As a counselor, I know I can't make decisions for someone.  I can listen and validate how they are feeling.  I can help uncover underlying issues and present a few options for coping or moving forward.  We can revisit goals to see what's working or if another option might be a better fit.

As a mother, I know I love them.  I guide them as best I can without telling them what to do or fixing everything for them.  I try not say "because I said so" when I can't explain what is so clearly obvious. My best friend calls it "the gift of struggle" and it works both ways.  We watch them make mistakes so they can learn from them.  In the end, we both learn something.

But at some point, I have to pray that I've done right by them and let them go. That I did the best I could with what I had - the experiences, resources, time, the waning patience.  They need to grow into themselves, and my job is to get them there safely, not to do it for them or tell them who they should be.

So much easier said than done  :)

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